


heartbeat

by catcie



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Minor Character Death, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 02:22:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20770955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcie/pseuds/catcie
Summary: in which edelgard has the habit of listening to other's heartbeats but she hasn't heard the most important one yet





	heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers for crimson flower ending

Badum. Badum.

The sound of a heartbeat; that's what she held onto during her childhood. Not a memory, she didn't have much of those as a child, but the sound.

Laying her head on her mother's chest. Resting her head on her father's torso. Cuddling with her sibilings, enduring the pain in that dark, dark and cold room. Just for the sound.

Badum.

That was her reassurance, her life depended on other's heartbeats. Edelgard was blessed with a sharp ear, and she thanked on the goddess she once believed in who provided her with it, because she doesn't think she would have survived without it.

She loved them all. Rapid heartbeats, excited ones, those filled with grief and those filled with joy. A singing heartbeat was her lifeline, as it meant life. The absence of it, however, means the contrary. She vividly remembers laying on her brother's chest, listening with horror and dread how his heart rate slowed each passing second until it vanished and left nothing but an empty husk; a husk who once had been her adoring brother with the liveliest heartbeat she had ever heard.

Oh, how she had wished she could transfer her own ringing heartbeat to her sibling, which sounded like a demon songstress taunting her, mocking her! A blessing turning into a curse, and the god she once thanked for had fallen from grace in her eyes. She wished she had no heartbeat, because countless of others she cared for had lost theirs.

Badum.

While in her stay the Garreg Mach Monastery she often wondered how her Professor's heartbeat would sound like. Mysterious? Majestic even. But she had no doubts it would produce a lovely sound. Nonetheless, she didn't dare to ask; it would be improper of her to do such thing, a student trying to harass her teacher? Surely, such juicy gossip wouldn't escape the hungry masses.

But the desire had always been there, and it intensified with each passing second. She once accidentally grabbed her Professor's wrist, and found her pulse. A steady, calm pulse. But that wasn't enough to quell her curiosity. Instead, it amplified it further.

It would not do, she decided, so she sealed her curiosity tight in the depths of her heart.

But when Byleth went missing, during those cruel and unforgiving five years, she couldn't help but regret not listening to it. At least with her sibilings she could remember them by the sound of it, but with her…

In the most stressful nights she couldn't help to imagine her heartbeat yet again. Would it be calming? Would it quell her desire to hear it, to feel it? Would it have a color, like her brothers and sisters had? She had no answers for her frenetic questions, and that damned heartbeat of herself taunted her yet again. Those were restless nights where sleep didn't come.

When her dear professor returned, she still not dare to hear it, feeling satisfied with only her pulse.

(she was lying. Once she'd overheard a conversation where she once said she had no heartbeat and having no heartbeat means not being alive and she was scared to find the truth)

When they both defeated Rhea, Byleth fell and with her, Edelgard's hopes as well. Finally, she nervously laid her head on her Professor's chest just to hear…

Nothing.

Husk.

No.

NO.

The only heartbeat she heard was her own, rushing to her ears and taunting her. Deja vú, isn't what they call what she was experiencing right now? Oh, how she wished she could transfer her own to Byleth! She felt her eyes watering, and tears fell on the husk she once called her professor. And with it…

A loud yet muffled sound, akin to a bomb going off.

Edelgard's eyes opened wide. Could it be? she thought with a glimmer of hope. She once again laid her ear on Byleth's chest just to hear… 

Badum. Badum.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this while i was half asleep anyways this is a character study of edelgard with the inclusion of a small headcannon of mine added in


End file.
